Who does what?

Who will be doing what

My last tip covered agreeing which functions/traditions you will be doing with your family as well as which functions/traditions you will do with your in-laws. Knowing your functions as early as possible is extremely helpful as these are what will form your wedding week and once you know what you are doing you can start making bookings (if required).

Now you know what you will be doing, the second part is knowing who will be doing what? Set traditions/functions have set people that will need to do be involved. If you tell them in advance that they will be involved/what they will be doing, then things will run much smoother on the day of the function. As everyone knows that they are involved and what they need to do.

Reasons to allocation functions in advanced:

  • You can ensure that the people closest to you are involved. I have seen it happen at many weddings where the bride/groom want a specific person to do something. However as this was not communicated beforehand the actual person didn’t know they needed to be involved and let someone else do it.
  • People will make sure they attend the functions where they are supposed to be doing something. They will also be more likely to tell you if they will no longer be able to attend.
  • Most of the younger generation don’t know what to do in weddings. If you go through their jobs with them in advanced, they are prepared and will not be asking what to do. This will also make a nicer wedding video, as everyone will just do their job rather than repeatedly asking what to do.  
  • You will get lots of people you don’t personally know (but are probably somehow related to) try and get involved in your wedding functions. As you will be busy on the day you may not even realise that they have got involved until it’s too late and you can’t stop them. If you everyone knows in advance who is supposed to be doing what they will be able to share that message and hopefully stop others from interfering.

Action list

  1. As soon as you have selected your functions decide which people you would like involved. For example, in the churra ceremony, your churra are normally put on you by your Mama. This is where you would decide which Mama/s you would like to take part in the ceremony. Do you want just your real Mama’s (only your Mum’s actual brothers) or more distant Mama’s also (Mums cousins). If you don’t have a Mama who would you like to do this instead?
  2. Let them know that you would like them to be a part of the ceremony and tell them the dates and what they need to do. It’s common to assume that close family will be there for the whole week, however due to family and work commitments people may not always attend every wedding function. So, this way they will know what days they will need to attend.
  3. I would recommend making the below (or similar) table in excel, it’s up to you how detailed you make it. The table can also be used just to let people know where they need to be too, like the last entry which isn’t really a function but it gives direction.
Function Date/Time Name/ Role What they need to do Materials required
Churra ceremony PM 25/08/2019 Harmail – Mama Put churra on bride Churra
Anand Karaj AM 26/08/2019 Harpreet – Brother Help sister with Pheras N/A
Gurudwara Breakfast AM 26/08/2019 Brides Friends Stay with bride to keep company/ feed Breakfast Breakfast
Straw Lipstick Safety Pins
  • Print the list off before the wedding week and have it displayed somewhere prominent. This can also serve as your detailed wedding plan. If you have any wedding planning whatsapp groups also send in there.

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